I know that one day you'll discover that I am your biological father. I don't know what age you will be or what kind of reaction you will have to my story - which is a part of your story - but if you are reading this you have likely discovered the truth.
I know that you are seeking answers to a million different questions. The answers to most of those questions will be difficult for me to say. The hardest day of my life will be the day that I get to face you and give you these truths.
There are some conversations I will not share with the world, I will only share them with you. If and when that time comes, I will fill in all the blanks for you. It was never my decision to hide the truth from you. I felt that you should have been made aware under the care of counseling back when you were a small child.
Unfortunately, it was not my decision to make.
When I came to prison I lost any rights I had for you and I only get to see you grow up through pictures of you and newspaper articles about you. Even though many would argue that I have no right to be proud of you, I AM! Every time I read about how great of a season you had, I feel so very proud!
My worst fear is you never wanting to know me.
In my heart, all I want is to have a relationship with you. I want to love my daughter and have you one day love your father. What keeps me up at night is the thought of you hating me forever.
What happened with your biological mother was an accident. I loved your mother. I made some tragic choices the night she died that I can never take back or justify. I have spent years working on myself to become far from the drunken boy who made those tragic choices. Every stride I take towards becoming a better man I do with you on my mind. Every program I run, every bit of knowledge I obtain, every poem, article, or endeavor I embark on I have you at the forefront of my mind. I love you and pray to God that you give me a chance one day to be in your life.
Sincerely your Biological father.